Strength through self-care: the power of choosing yourself first
- Jacomien van de kolk
- 23 feb
- 3 minuten om te lezen
Prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish, it’s how you show up stronger for others
Sometimes, you want to take the world on your shoulders, to fix the situation. Not just for yourself, but for those you love. Worry, doubt, and struggle often come with negative energy. And you, caught in between, want to step in, to make things better, because you care deeply for those involved.

But sometimes, you realize that you can’t carry the world, not while dealing with your own struggles. Sometimes, it forces you to confront what truly affects you. But other times, you push that aside, refusing to slow down, because your heart tells you to help.
Yet, there are moments when you can’t help in the way you wish you could. And the best step you can take… is a step back. Not solving someone else’s problems, not saving them when they haven’t asked to be saved. Sometimes, it is not your burden to carry.
Caring for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s how you stay strong enough to care for others
You can’t pour from an empty cup
Recently, I came across a quote that summed this up so perfectly:"I’ll take care of me for you, if you’ll take care of you for me."A shift from "I will take care of you, if you will take care of me." – Jim Rohn.
It sounds simple, yet it holds deep truth. You can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t give love if it means losing yourself in the process. You can’t be the support you want to be for others if you don’t first choose yourself.
Why taking care of yourself is a gift to others
It may feel selfish. It may even sound selfish. But in reality, it is essential. By prioritizing yourself first, rather than always putting others before you, you prevent yourself from burning out and constantly running on empty.
How can you truly take care of someone else if you neglect yourself? How much further will you drift away from yourself in the process? And the further you stray, the longer the journey back. Strength comes through self-care.
Strength through self-care
Out of love, for yourself and for others, the greatest gift you can give is choosing to take care of yourself first. Because from that place, you can care for others so much better, be there for them in ways you simply couldn’t if you were drained.
When you are mentally stronger, more energized, and in balance, you have so much more to give. But if you allow yourself to run on empty, you can’t be the support system you want to be. That balance is essential.
Self-love creates healthy boundaries
It might seem like self-care is selfish. Like putting yourself first means neglecting others. But in reality, the opposite is true. By taking care of yourself, you give even more to those around you. Your energy, patience, and presence change when they come from a place of strength and balance rather than exhaustion and depletion.
Think about how it feels to be around someone who is full of energy and positivity versus someone who is completely drained. One radiates strength, while the other is drowning in their own struggles. Who do you think can truly be there for someone else?
What would change if you chose yourself first?
Be aware that self-love is what creates healthy dynamics. When you value yourself, you set healthy boundaries. You recognize what is good for you, and you dare to say ‘no’ when necessary. You learn not to lose yourself in someone else’s struggles.
That doesn’t mean you don’t care, don’t help, or aren’t present. It means you don’t give from emptiness, you give from overflow. You no longer carry burdens that aren’t yours to carry. Instead, you become a safe space for others without losing yourself in the process. By taking care of yourself, you become a stronger, more stable, and more loving person, for yourself and for those around you.
So ask yourself: What would your life look like if you chose yourself first? How would it change your relationships, your energy, and the way you give to others?
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